Act II, Scene 5

Alexandria - CLEOPATRA’s palace.

[Enter CLEOPATRA, CHARMIAN, IRAS, and ALEXAS]

Cleopatra - Give me some music; music, moody food Of us that trade in love.

Attendants - The music, ho!

[Enter MARDIAN]

Cleopatra - Let it alone; let's to billiards: come, Charmian.

Charmian - My arm is sore; best play with Mardian.

Cleopatra - As well a woman with an eunuch play'd As with a woman. Come, you'll play with me, sir?

Mardian - As well as I can, madam.

Cleopatra - And when good will is show'd, though't come too short, The actor may plead pardon. I'll none now: Give me mine angle; we'll to the river: there, My music playing far off, I will betray Tawny-finn'd fishes; my bended hook shall pierce Their slimy jaws; and, as I draw them up, I'll think them every one an Antony, And say 'Ah, ha! you're caught.'

Charmian - 'Twas merry when You wager'd on your angling; when your diver Did hang a salt-fish on his hook, which he With fervency drew up.

Cleopatra - That time,—O times!— I laugh'd him out of patience; and that night I laugh'd him into patience; and next morn, Ere the ninth hour, I drunk him to his bed; Then put my tires and mantles on him, whilst I wore his sword Philippan.

[Enter a Messenger]

O, from Italy Ram thou thy fruitful tidings in mine ears, That long time have been barren.

Messenger - Madam, madam,—

Cleopatra - Antonius dead!—If thou say so, villain, Thou kill'st thy mistress: but well and free, If thou so yield him, there is gold, and here My bluest veins to kiss; a hand that kings Have lipp'd, and trembled kissing.

Messenger - First, madam, he is well.

Cleopatra - Why, there's more gold. But, sirrah, mark, we use To say the dead are well: bring it to that, The gold I give thee will I melt and pour Down thy ill-uttering throat.

Messenger - Good madam, hear me.

Cleopatra - Well, go to, I will; But there's no goodness in thy face: if Antony Be free and healthful,—so tart a favour To trumpet such good tidings! If not well, Thou shouldst come like a Fury crown'd with snakes, Not like a formal man.

Messenger - Will't please you hear me?

Cleopatra - I have a mind to strike thee ere thou speak'st: Yet if thou say Antony lives, is well, Or friends with Caesar, or not captive to him, I'll set thee in a shower of gold, and hail Rich pearls upon thee.

Messenger - Madam, he's well.

Cleopatra - Well said.

Messenger - And friends with Caesar

Cleopatra - Thou'rt an honest man.

Messenger - Caesar and he are greater friends than ever.

Cleopatra - Make thee a fortune from me.

Messenger - But yet, madam,—

Cleopatra - I do not like 'But yet,' it does allay The good precedence; fie upon 'But yet'! 'But yet' is as a gaoler to bring forth Some monstrous malefactor. Prithee, friend, Pour out the pack of matter to mine ear, The good and bad together: he's friends with Caesar: In state of health thou say'st; and thou say'st free.

Messenger - Free, madam! no; I made no such report: He's bound unto Octavia.

Cleopatra - For what good turn?

Messenger - For the best turn i' the bed.

Cleopatra - I am pale, Charmian.

Messenger - Madam, he's married to Octavia.

Cleopatra - The most infectious pestilence upon thee!

[Strikes him down]

Messenger - Good madam, patience.

Cleopatra - What say you? Hence,

[Strikes him again]

Horrible villain! or I'll spurn thine eyes Like balls before me; I'll unhair thy head:

[She hales him up and down]

Thou shalt be whipp'd with wire, and stew'd in brine, Smarting in lingering pickle.

Messenger - Gracious madam, I that do bring the news made not the match.

Cleopatra - Say 'tis not so, a province I will give thee, And make thy fortunes proud: the blow thou hadst Shall make thy peace for moving me to rage; And I will boot thee with what gift beside Thy modesty can beg.

Messenger - He's married, madam.

Cleopatra - Rogue, thou hast lived too long.

[Draws a knife]

Messenger - Nay, then I'll run. What mean you, madam? I have made no fault.

[Exit]

Charmian - Good madam, keep yourself within yourself: The man is innocent.

Cleopatra - Some innocents 'scape not the thunderbolt. Melt Egypt into Nile! and kindly creatures Turn all to serpents! Call the slave again: Though I am mad, I will not bite him: call.

Charmian - He is afeard to come.

Cleopatra - I will not hurt him.

[Exit CHARMIAN]

These hands do lack nobility, that they strike A meaner than myself; since I myself Have given myself the cause.

[Re-enter CHARMIAN and Messenger]

Come hither, sir. Though it be honest, it is never good To bring bad news: give to a gracious message. An host of tongues; but let ill tidings tell Themselves when they be felt.

Messenger - I have done my duty.

Cleopatra - Is he married? I cannot hate thee worser than I do, If thou again say 'Yes.'

Messenger - He's married, madam.

Cleopatra - The gods confound thee! dost thou hold there still?

Messenger - Should I lie, madam?

Cleopatra - O, I would thou didst, So half my Egypt were submerged and made A cistern for scaled snakes! Go, get thee hence: Hadst thou Narcissus in thy face, to me Thou wouldst appear most ugly. He is married?

Messenger - I crave your highness' pardon.

Cleopatra - He is married?

Messenger - Take no offence that I would not offend you: To punish me for what you make me do. Seems much unequal: he's married to Octavia.

Cleopatra - O, that his fault should make a knave of thee, That art not what thou'rt sure of! Get thee hence: The merchandise which thou hast brought from Rome Are all too dear for me: lie they upon thy hand, And be undone by 'em!

[Exit Messenger]

Charmian - Good your highness, patience.

Cleopatra - In praising Antony, I have dispraised Caesar.

Charmian - Many times, madam.

Cleopatra - I am paid for't now. Lead me from hence: I faint: O Iras, Charmian! 'tis no matter. Go to the fellow, good Alexas; bid him Report the feature of Octavia, her years, Her inclination, let him not leave out The colour of her hair: bring me word quickly.

[Exit ALEXAS]

Let him for ever go:—let him not—Charmian, Though he be painted one way like a Gorgon, The other way's a Mars. Bid you Alexas

[To MARDIAN]

Bring me word how tall she is. Pity me, Charmian, But do not speak to me. Lead me to my chamber.

[Exeunt]